Backlash 2008
BEWARE THE BACKLASH~!
Matt Hardy Vs MVP – WWE United States Championship Match
Please Matt, give me a good MVP match here. PLEASE.
GREAT THROW BY MVP – Michael Cole.
Huh. Seems that was the highlight of the match .
Oh Hardy wins the title btw. Honestly don’t remember him being US champion lol.
Nothing downright awful here… just… nothing remotely worth talking about.
Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0
EVE~!
Kane Vs Chavo Guerrero – ECW Championship Match
If I ever invent a time machine, I’m gonna go back to 08 and convince WWE to make this match shorter than their WM match.
Obviously wouldn’t be the first thing I’d do, but it’s on the list. OH IT’S ON THE LIST DAMMIT.
Mike Adamle is contagious. He’s fumbling over his words all the time, and now so is Tazz.
Chavo goes after Kane’s leg. Kane keeps forgetting to sell it. Then he remembers. Then forgets again.
BAM NEELY. NEELEY. NEILY. NEILEY. NEALY. NEALEY. ONE OF THOSE IS RIGHT. Why do WWE love to have a big guy dress in a suit and never speak?
CHOKESLAM. Kane wins.
So this match happened. Kane was kinda terrible. Most he sold the leg was when he walked up the ramp after the match .
Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0
Orton getting interviewed about the 4 way later tonight. No EVE though 
. I miss evil executive EVE.
The Big Show Vs The Great Khali
I’m… oddly looking forward to this. I seem to recall liking this in the past.
BIG SHOW AND KHALI PUNCHING EACH OTHER IN THE FACE~!
HEADBUTT EXCHANGE~!
FLAIR CHOPS~!
Khali clotheslines Big Show to the mat!!!
Holy crap, Khali with the CROSSFACE.
Big Show tries to slam Khali but can’t do it. Because… ummmm… he was tired from the Crossface? It’s like when Cena pretends he can’t pick someone up for a slam, but everyone on the planet knows he could do it with ease.
Now if only these two could start doing some mat work like that Kane/Show match from Raw in 06 
.
BIG SHOW SLAMS KHALI~! So after taking MORE punishment than earlier… he can slam Khali now. Because… ummmm… all those rest holds worked?
Khali tries to Khali Bomb Show, but Show powers out and CHOKESLAMS the Punjabi Giant!!!
Aside from a couple of rest spots by Khali, this is a very surprisingly good GIANT battle. For all the hate Khali gets, even from me 99% of the time, the guy DOES have some good performances under his belt and honestly I think this is one of them.
Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1
John Cena randomly backstage with JIMMY WANG YANG~! Didn’t realise that guy was still with the company at this time. Oh look Orton shows up to bore us all. At least he isn’t trying to hit on Cena like last year at Backlash… .
Shawn Michaels Vs Batista
Wah wah wah HBK retired Flair and Batista is a giant cry baby wah wah wah.
Jericho is the special guest referee in this match because he… completely randomly inserted himself into this feud and I genuinely don’t think there was ever any reason WHY lol.
So how does everything feel about this match? Don’t remember when the last time I saw this was, I just remember really liking their Stretcher match a month later.
Early parts of this match so far have been really good. Batista throwing Shawn around with his POWER, so HBK has to rely on his quickness to avoid any hard shots and to try and take the ANIMAL down.
BACKLUND SPOT~! And for those who don’t know what that is… first, SHAME ON YOU. Secondly, it’s when someone is in an arm lock and then just power their opponent up off the mat and stand up while holding them with one arm and it’s impressive as fuck every damn time. A little difference here though as Shawn is able to manoeuvre Batista to the ropes and they both go tumbling down!!!
SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RING POST~! HBK seizes an opportunity to further injure the arm he’s just started working on!
Well, that’s it. HBK is DEAD. I mean DEAD. Passed on. He is no more. He has ceased to be. This is an ex wrestler. And why, you ask? Because Batista just fucking MURDERED HIM with an incredible clothesline 
.
WAIT, NO! HBK HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD~! Aaaand apparently Chris Benoit has taken over his body because he’s come back to use the Crossface 
.
Jericho has to DRAG HBK off Batista when he refuses to release the hold despite the fact Batista grabbed the bottom rope. Careful Chris, the other Chris might put YOU in the Crossface too…
NIP UP~! RIGHT INTO A SPEAR~!
Sweet Chin Music coming right up… SPINEBUSTER~! It seems that Batista has an answer for everything HBK can throw at him on this night!!!
Batista Bomb countered by HBK who lands wrong and seems to be hurt!!! He’s holding his knee and Jericho is doing his best to keep Batista away until… SWEET CHIN MUSIC OUT OF NOWHERE~!
HBK picks up the win, but is his leg really hurt? Is Batista done with HBK? Does Jericho have an ulterior motive for being part of this match? All this and more on the next WWE PPV!!!
Really enjoyed this match!!! Great stuff from both guys. HBK working the arm to try and take the strength away from Batista, and Batista seemingly having an answer for all of HBK’s offence, forcing HBK to fake the leg injury so he can superkick the Animal when he least expects it!!!
Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4
Orton cutting a promo on HHH while standing right in front of him… but looking away cos he’s apparently a coward who can’t look into HHH’s face .
Beth Phoenix, Victoria, Melina, Jillian, Natalya & Layla Vs Mickie James, Maria, Michelle McCool, Ashley, Cherry & Kelly Kelly
Mickie wins the women’s title from Beth 2 weeks ago on Raw and… instead of a rematch here on PPV, it’s a multi-women clusterfuck tag. No thanks.
Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1
The Undertaker Vs Edge – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Big fan of their WM match, even if it is kinda slow for the first half, but not slow in a bad way imo. I’m also probably one of the bigger fans of this and their JD match too.
Build up for this match was great too, just because it gave us 4 weeks of rather awesome Undertaker TV matches against Kane, Festus, and 2 Batista matches, all of which are definitely worth watching.
I’M GOING TO HURT YOU. Undertaker is seen mouthing that to Edge during the introductions. Now if only Edge had replied with “YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO” .
Foley and Cole keep bringing up shit about how Edge went into WM all cocky because he hasn’t lost to Undertaker before and he knew he could win, but now he’s lost to Taker at WM, how will it effect him mentally? They go back and forth with them mentioning that while yeah, he lost at WM, he still knows he can beat Taker cos he’s done it before. Only thing is, they don’t mention that Edge has only beat Undertaker ONCE… and that was after a brutal cage match with Batista, where Mark Henry destroyed him right after, and Edge cashed in MITB… so if Edge was as smart as the WWE would like to tell you he is… surly the loss at WM will have simply enforced the knowledge that Edge CAN’T beat Undertaker one on one, which is what this match is.
Oh boy did I really go on for longer than I should have on something that is kinda meaningless .
Just days earlier, on SD, Batista hit a SPINEBUSTER on Undertaker right on the steel steps, and Undertaker, despite controlling the early part of this match, shows signs of his back not being 100%. Little things like him selling it after hitting the apron leg drop makes me . And then like at WM, Edge is able to counter a signature Undertaker move, this time with the Edgeomatic, and that allows him to add some extra damage to the Dead Man’s back!
BACK WORK~! And some good back work at that. Dropkicks, submissions, and even those shoulder blocks in the corner, but with Undertaker turned around so the shoulder goes into the back and not the stomach!
The story of the WM match was Edge knowing Undertaker inside and out, and being able to counter move after move from The Undertaker, while here we have Undertaker being able to counter a number of Edge’s counters in order to keep himself in the match despite all the back work done by Edge. And it’s fucking tremendous to watch.
We also see Undertaker going the extra mile to try and take Edge out, including going for a top rope elbow drop, which Edge avoided and holy fuck Undertaker takes one hell of a fucking back bump that a guy his size and age (even in 2008 lol), should NOT be doing. Props to the Dead Man for that.
Spear countered into a DDT by ‘Taker . Another of those great counters from Undertaker!!!
The Edgeheads try to get involved here, with one of them decking Undertaker with the WHC, and another showing up only to be taken out straight away lol.
LAST RIDE~! NO, EDGE COUNTERS~! NO, UNDERTAKER COUNTERS EDGE’S COUNTER~! HELLS GATE~! HELLS GATE~! HELLS GATE~! EDGE TAPS OUT!!! EDGE TAPS OUT!!! THE UNDERTAKER IS STILL THE WHC!!!
The match is over, but The Undertaker is refusing to let go of the hold!!! Undertaker said he was going to hurt Edge, and well, he just fucking did!!!
Unfortunately Undertaker gets stripped of the title due to his misuse of THAT SUBMISSION HOLD, but hey, for now, Undertaker is still champ and this match is fucking tremendous.
Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6
Orton backstage again, this time standing outside of JBL’s locker room looking creepy as fuck, like he’s about to barge in and rape him or something… then CM Punk shows up and wishes Orton good luck while flashing his MITB briefcase .
Randy Orton Vs Triple H Vs JBL Vs John Cena – WWE Championship Match
In Time song from The Punisher is the song for the video package here .
The music dies and so goes all my . Because this is like a half hour match and I seem to recall that HHH and Orton are the last 2 guys with a stupid amount of time in a one on one match that’s boring as shit, like most of their matches tend to be.
the bell rings, and Orton steals the belt from the referee, runs at JBL, and gets a boot to the face for his troubles . JBL rules.
JBL then starts caving in Cena’s face with his awesome punches in the corner .
Lots of fast, hard hitting action early on that would make you think this is gonna be a good match. But we all know it’s a lie. Just like cake.
Orton pulls up a chair and lets everyone else battle it out… until Cena fucking CHARGES at him .
Cena gets his moments later though as he’s knocked off the apron and fucking crashes into the announce table. How the fuck it didn’t break on impact is beyond me lol. Cena HAD to have hurt himself there.
Cena has Orton in the STFU, and JBL runs into the ring to… STAND AND MOCK ORTON . This is an elimination match, so it makes PERFECT SENSE . Then HHH appears from behind and locks JBL in a Crossface (which is getting overused tonight…)! Orton escapes the STFU and begins to mock JBL right back until Cena shoves him from behind into HHH and breaks up that submission lol. Fun little segment in this match 
.
TOWER OF DOOM~!
worst F-U ever to JBL .
STFU TO JBL~! And JBL taps out . JBL was the best thing in this match so far and he’s gone. And while Cena lets go of the submission… PUNT~! Cena has just been eliminated too!!!
And now we have TWENTY MINUTES LEFT with HHH and Orton 
.
Things get real boring real quick… so much so that I end up watching a “football fails” video on my facebook feed (was hilarious, a bunch of kids getting hit in the face with footballs ), and WWE are apparently also bored cos they keep showing the replay of Cena getting PUNTED .
Orton injures HHH’s mid-section and starts kneeing it and shit and then… HEADLOCK~!
RK…oh? Ummm… I *think* HHH countered it… but it actually looked like HHH went to his knees instead of falling down flat and it came across as more of a botch lol.
Seems Orton is even bored now, and decides to have a mini-match with the steel steps 
.
Fucking OUCH! HHH counters a Piledriver attempt by tripping Orton up, and Orton just cracks his back and head on the steel steps. Can you say Concussion? Well, Orton probably can’t because his brain just got scrambled .
worst ref bump ever .
RKO~!
PEDIGREE~!
NEW CHAMPION~!
Well, this wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be… but it SHOULD have been so much better. The first part of the match was awesome, and if it carried on like that, this would have been incredible. But JBL and Cena are eliminated together far too early into the match, and once that happened… HHH and Orton just fumbled around for most of their 20 minutes together, which ends up bringing down the entire match. They still gave us some good moments, but overall it is like most of their matches; dull.
Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2
Overall CAL SCALE – 12
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