Backlash 2009 PPV Ramblings



Backlash 2009


:mark: cannot wait to re-watch some of the matches on this show!


Christian Vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship Match

Now THIS is how you start off a PPV!!! Their 24/02/2009 ECW TV match is one of the best TV matches to ever happen ANYWHERE, and based on my memory, this isn’t AS good, but is still a fucking tremendous match :mark:.

Swagger just fucking MANHANDLES Christian early on using a mix of his size, power and pure wrestling skills and he looks legit as FUCK doing it. How does Christian counter this? BITCH SLAP~!

HOLY FUCK Swagger just picks Christian up over his head with EASE, walks over to the turnbuckle and LAUNCHES him to the floor. I swear that might be one of the most impressive FEATS OF STRENGTH I’ve seen in a wrestling match. Sure plenty of the roster could press slam Christian, but I don’t know how many could do it with the sheer ease Swagger was able to do it.


:mark: Swagger countering Christian’s crazy turnbuckle kick thingy is fucking awesome. Swagger certainly held up his own during these Christian matches, but based on other matches with other opponents, you gotta believe that Swagger only looked THAT GOOD is because of Christian. Christian was just on fucking FIRE in 09 and could give guys the best matches of either their early careers (such as Swagger here) or even their lengthy careers (Dreamer comes to mind).

The epic 24/02 match features some of the absolute greatest arm work to ever take place in a match ever. Here, Swagger is working over the mid-section of the veteran Christian, which began with the insane body press slam over the ropes. Man, Christian takes a knee to the gut while running and looks like he DIED ON IMPACT.

Swagger focusing on the mid-section is all leading up to the Gut Wrench Powerbomb, and Christian knows this and manages to prevent the ECW champ from potentially ending the match with it by holding on to Swagger’s legs for his life! When Swagger realises Christian ain’t going up for the Powerbomb, he switches up and busts out another move instead to remain in control of the match and further wear down Captain Charisma :mark:.

OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE~! Well, Swagger slams Christian into one turnbuckle, then Christian counters with a roll up, before getting up and Swagger resuming the move!

Swagger takes of a turnbuckle pad, but gets caught by the referee. While he’s arguing with the ref, the veteran Christian takes this opportunity to expose another turnbuckle without anyone seeing! Swagger runs at him, smashes into the steel and gets hit with the KILLSWTICH~!

We have a NEW ECW champion in Christian! And so begins the incredible reign, where Christian carries an entire brand on his shoulders for the next 10 months!!!

Incredible match, so smartly worked by both men. Love it.

Rating: ****1/4


Christian gets congratulated backstage by his fellow ECW guys, then notices EDGE and walks over to him for a conversation only to have Edge be a cunt to him. As much as I can’t stand Edge, I do with we’d gotten one more short run of E&C at some point.


Chris Jericho Vs Ricky Steamboat

STEAMBOAT~! :mark:

So at WM 25, Jericho took on 2 WWE Legends in a 2 on 1 handicap match. They were Piper and STEAMBOAT, and STEAMBOAT was just fucking incredible. He looked like he’d never retired with a back injury in 94, because he damn near out-performed everyone that night. Hell, if a certain Undertaker/HBK match never happened, I guarantee WM 25 would be remembered for STEAMBOAT above all else.

On Raw the next night, there was a huge 10 man tag or something and once again STEAMBOAT looked incredible. Jericho hated that an old timer was “stealing the spotlight” and challenged Steamboat to a singles match here tonight!

STEAMBOAT SHOWING UP JERICHO~! Seriously, HOW did Steamboat still look so good in the ring. I mean, just looking at Steamboat the man, he’s an OAP. But once he starts moving around and hitting moves, he looks younger than me.


Nice to see Steamboat bend back the fingers and shit while applying an arm lock to Jericho. We just don’t see that kind of thing with the kids these days. LEARN TO WORK A HOLD YOU FUCKS.

The match slows down a bit as Jericho applies some rest holds (COME ON JERICHO, STEAMBOAT JUST SHOWED YOU FIRST HAND HOW TO WORK A FUCKING HOLD, STOP JUST SITTING THERE YOU CUNT). Luckily STEAMBOAT is so awesome he can prevent any of this from becoming boring :mark:.


Jericho remains in control for the most of this match, but STEAMBOAT is always fighting back and countering Jericho, including avoiding a Lionsault by setting Jericho up in an Electric Chair, and even reversing the Walls of Jericho into a FIGURE FOUR, a move that Steamboat has probably had applied to him more than any man in history!

HOLY FUCK I already know who wins this match but for a second there I actually thought Steamboat had it with a crossbody from the top rope!!! Jericho BARELY fucking kicked out!!!

That crossbody did so well that Steamboat goes for it again, only to land right into a CODEBREAKER!!! 1..2.. FOOT ON THE ROPES~! Steamboat still knows what he’s doing inside that ring!

CALLBACK TO WM 3 with the roll up :mark:.

Wall of Jericho in the middle of the ring, and even Steamboat has to tap out.

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat? Nah, more like Ricky “The Dragon” SteamGOAT!!!

Rating: ***1/2


Oh joy Santino in a backstage segment. With Beth and… and… someone. Santino is trying to pretend he didn’t dress up as Santina at WM to win the Miss WM battle royal. Still have no idea who the other women was in this segment :lmao.


Kane Vs CM Punk

Kane is pissed that Punk is Mr MITB for the second year in a row, and winning it by kicking Kane off the ladder!

On paper this might not really look like a good match, but my memory (as terrible as it can be) is telling me this is fun.

KICK, PUNCH, IT’S ALL IN THE MIND~! Punk keeps trying to hit and move… then gets trapped in a corner with the BIG RED MACHINE MONSTER and starts getting pummelled, until Punk can use the turnbuckle to his advantage and lock Kane in an Arm Lock using the ropes!!!

Cool to see Punk go back to the arm a couple of times to avoid some of Kane’s major offence, including a potential CHOKELAM ON THE FLOOR!

:lmao Kane throws Punk so Punk could do that spot where he slides on the mat and smashes back first into the ring post under the bottom rope. Except he didn’t slide very far and it ended up looking like shit :lmao. Kane makes up for it though with a running dropkick to really smash him into the post!!!

MOTHER OF GOD PUNK JUST DIED. Kane hit a fucking clothesline that puts some of JBL’s clothesline from hell’s to shame!!!

Well look at this, Kane with some pretty sweet BACK WORK :mark:.

Punk again countering a chokeslam thanks to that bad arm that Kane is still selling, and doing a good job of it!!!

The injured arm creates an opening for Punk to make a comeback here, but the back work by Kane in this match prevents him from hitting the GTS :mark:.

KANE’S UPPERCUT :mark:. He catches Punk coming off the ropes with it and damn, Punk just died AGAIN!


KICKS TO THE FUCKING HEAD~! Punk showcasing his STRIKING SKILLS, but the MONSTER KANE just fucking shrugs them off and Chokeslam’s Punk for the win using BOTH arms because just one wasn’t enough thanks to all the arm work!!!

I think a lot of people would probably be surprised with this match because of how legitimately FUCKING GOOD it is. Both men look great, both target a body part well and both sell those body parts well, and use them multiple times to change he outcome of certain situations!

Rating: ***1/2


Matt Hardy Vs Jeff Hardy – I Quit Match

Remember when CHRISTIAN was “supposed” to be the guy causing shit for Jeff? But fans caught on to it and Vince “apparently” changed his mind and we got Matt instead? Fun times :). Not really but ok :p.

Anyway, their WM 25 match is pretty fucking sweet and often overlooked (like the entire event outside of STEAMGOAT and TAKER/HBK). This match? Well… ummm… if I was smart I’d probably avoid this but dammit I kinda wanna see if it’s still as “bad” as my memory is telling me it is.

I do know, however, that everyone NEEDS to watch their stretcher match on SD that takes place sometime after this because it rocks and is probably the best stretcher match not involving BROCK LESNAR and BIG SHOW.

Also, didn’t Matt just kinda randomly stop being heel once this feud finished? Was there ever any kind of explanation? In fact, it doesn’t matter because BABYFACE MATT fucking rocks and while he was starting to put on a bit of weight around this time that was effecting his ring work, he would still have a TON of great performances and matches later in the year.

Gotta love Jeff’s attempts at REVENGE on his brother. DIVE OVER THE ROPES LIKE ALWAYS~!

I jest though. Sort of :p. He’s going all out to really take it to Matt here with a bunch of pretty great looking risky moves. Love the spot where he jumps off the ring steps and smashes into Matt, crushing Matt between him and the barricade.

Don’t think Matt has gotten ANYTHING in on Jeff so far in this match.

Jeff keeps going to the ropes for high risk moves against his brother, and it’s this that costs him control of the match. Matt launches him off the top rope right to the floor, and I think Jeff kinda mis-judged his jump here and instead of a cool bump into the barricade, he falls just short and lands kinda hard.


FIGURE FOUR~! But Jeff is refusing to quit!!!

They do some more stuff, then Jeff applies a leg hold to Matt who is tapping out like crazy, but still refuses to say the words I QUIT.



But Matt is still refusing to quit.




Back in the ring now and Jeff finally gets Matt on the table, and DUCK TAPES HIS LEGS AND ARMS TOGETHER SO HE CAN’T ESCAPE :lmao. Wait.. Jeff is the babyface in this match right? :lmao

NOW HE IS LITERALLY TYING HIM TO THE TABLE WITH ROPE :lmao. Man, what a good guy Jeff is :).

Matt still doesn’t quit… so Jeff brings in a fucking LADDER!!! I think we all know where this is going!

Jeff is on top of the ladder, and Matt begins to tell Jeff he’s sorry and that he loves him and that he quits. ALL IS FORGIVEN!!!

No wait Jeff still jumps off the ladder onto his brother. What an absolute CUNT!

So this match… well… it’s disappointing because it HAS parts of it that are really good. And yeah, while the end kinda made Jeff seem like the bad guy I still enjoyed it. But there are parts in the middle of this match that would put you to sleep regardless of how much caffeine you’ve consumed.

Rating: **1/2


Orton cuts a boring promo. He tries to turn Batista against HHH. But he’s just turning people against insomnia.




It’s the Kiss Cam. With Khali. And Santino the crossdresser. Who is apparently in love with JR. Who calls “her” his “little slobber knocker” :lmao. Ok, that was funny. Oh god this is dragging on FOREVER. And now Beth and… that other women (WHO IS SHE?!?!) are out here. Yey this is going on even longer.


And now Khali is hitting a women. Ya know, this PPV was doing so well up until this point. I kinda wanna just take away all the points and give it a MINUS 5 STARS total, all because of THIS segment. OH GOD IT’S NOT OVER YET. Khali rips off half of Santino/a’s clothes.


Was there… was there a point this this segment? Like, anything? At all? SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THIS HAPPENED?!?!?!?!!?!?!


Triple H, Batista & Shane McMahon Vs Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase – WWE Championship Match

The title is on the line in a 6 man tag!!!

Poor Triple H, what is it with BIG DADDY VINCE putting him in these 6 man matches with his title on the line? Happened at King of the Ring 2000 (with Shane also on his team lol), and again in 2009? :p

They (commentators) keep bringing up that is Shane for example gets too hot headed and ends up being DQ’d, HHH would lose the title still. But… who would WIN the title? The guy that Shane is murdering so badly he gets DQ’d? Or does VACANT get another reign?

Lawler thinks this is the first time a 6 man match has had the title on the line :lmao. Then again, I guess 9 years IS a long time ago. Not like when Cole claims Cena is going to the top rope for the first time despite the fact he did it a week ago :p.

HHH attacks Orton before the bell even rings so he can do as much damage as possible without potentially getting DQ’d. Meanwhile Cody and Teddy are shitting themselves in the ring, too scared to help their mentor :lmao.

Orton disappears and HHH gets back to the ring, so the ref just says FUCK IT and rings the bell despite it being 3 on 2 :p.

:lmao Cody is on his knees in the ring and HHH gives him the SUCK IT crotch chop… and Cody’s first reaction is to OPEN HIS MOUTH :lmao.

Awesome to see Shane doing some old school tag team finishers with Batista and HHH. Fairly certain the first one they do is the old DEMOLITION finisher, and after that it’s the HART ATTACK :mark:.

Legacy without Orton are just getting their bums destroyed. ANAL DESTRUCTION.

JR calls Rhodes and DiBiase two of the building blocks for the future of WWE. Oh how wrong he would be. Teddy is… ummm… no idea what he’s doing these days. And Cody. Cody is following his brother’s footsteps with the STARDUST gimmick… but getting about as over a midget in a pole vaulting competition.

ORTON RETURNS~! He shows up and attacks Batista from behind, slams him into the ring post and quickly tags himself in so he can try and finish off THE ANIMAL and win the Double Double E Number title!

Speaking of double, just had a Double Decker. Mmmmmm yum.


Gotta love how despite the fact HIS TITLE IS ON THE LINE and he looked worried as fuck… HHH didn’t even attempt to break up the count :lmao.

Legacy are doing a pretty great job at isolating Batista. They don’t let up one bit, almost SMOTHERING him. He doesn’t get a moment to himself without one of them grabbing a hold or preventing him from making a tag. Good basic tag shit right here!!!

Damn, Batista just fucking CRASHES into Orton in a desperate attempt to take him down and give him enough time to make a hot tag, and he does! Shane O’Mac is on fire and takes the fight to everyone, even trying to set up the announce table for an elbow before being stopped. He still hits a big elbow from the ropes to Cody in the ring and it looked better than every HBK elbow drop ever.

HOLY SHIT SHANE IS DEAD. One of the best bumps I’ve seen into the ring steps by someone not named FOLEY or UNDERTAKER :mark:.

Batista has his turn as FIP, and now Shane gets to take a beating for his team!

Match gets a tad dull from this point unfortunately. Too many rest holds. We do get some teased hot tags and great cut offs though, so that’s definitely something :).


Well, what’s this? HHH is throwing some GOOD PUNCHES? Nah, can’t be. *rewinds* Wait, no. IT’S TRUE. HHH was throwing some GOOD PUNCHES :eek:.

The match spills to the outside and everyone gets involved and it’s an ALL OUT BRAWL~!


BATISTA TAKES A SHOT TOO, but manages to get the chair away from Cody. He’s about to deck Cody right in front of the referee, but HHH grabs the chair from him to avoid a DQ and him losing the title.





So this fucking rocked. Bit with Shane as FIP was a little dull but thankfully didn’t last that long, especially compared to the Batista FIP. Finish had everyone going apeshit without it becoming a clusterfuck.

Rating: ***3/4


John Cena Vs Edge – World Heavyweight Championship Last Man Standing Match

So we’ve had a great PPV up to this point. Now I have to sit through this garbage. Cena Vs Edge is usually terrible. Add a stipulation? SHOOT ME NOW. Neither guy knows how to work a gimmick match without it being a glorified SPOT FEST, unless their opponent is competent.




Rating: *


Overall CAL SCALE – 17

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