Survivor Series 2008
It’s all about SURVIVAL. Will I make it through this PPV without wanting to shoot myself in the face?!?!
At least AC/DC are doing the theme . That should get me through SOME of this show lol.
JEFF HARDY WAS FOUND UNCONSCIOUS IN THE STAIRWELL OF HIS HOTEL THIS AFTERNOON~! But don’t worry fans, WWE OFFICIALS are investigating! So… no police?
Shawn Michaels, Cryme Tyme, Rey Mysterio & The Great Khali Vs JBL, John Morrison, The Miz, Kane & MVP – Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match
HBK relegated to OPENING THE SHOW. LOL.
Yey, Mysterio gets to start the match against… MVP. Mostly Very Poopy.
Rey does some double team shit with JTG. MAYBE HE’S AN HONORARY MEMBER OF CRYME TYME~! Wow, who is feeding Cole lines? Donald Trump?
JTG is eliminated already .
MVP gets eliminated immediately after by Khali .
Khali Vs Kane time! YEY JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!!!
KANE CAN DELIVER THE KISS OF DEATH AT ANY MOMENT. Ummm… what?
No seriously. What?
Kane is eliminated . Wow. Guessing this match isn’t getting a lot of time .
SHAD IS WEARING SHOES THAT AREN’T NORMALLY WRESTLING SHOES LET’S DISCUSS THIS DURING THE MATCH BECAUSE WE ALL SUCK AT ACTUAL COMMENTARY~!
Shad is eliminated. Probably because he isn’t wearing the right shoes.
We’re down to 3 on 3, so HBK decides to get involved in the match. HOW ABOUT GETTING INVOLVED WHEN ONE OF YOUR TEAM IS BEING PINNED SO YOU CAN BREAK IT UP?!?! WHY DOES THAT NEVER HAPPEN IN THESE MATCHES??!!
Lawler: That’s one of the most impressive moves Miz and Morrison have!
JBL PUNCHING HBK’S FACE IN .
HBK gets workover for a bit by Miz and Morrison and meh I don’t care.
LOL Miz is eliminated.
Meanwhile Khali is still in the match .
YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant and I honestly don’t know why. JBL and Rey are in the ring. Are they chanting it at Khali on the apron?
JBL is great in this, but the rest of his team have been utterly useless tbh.
HBK’s team was pretty useless too, but at least he had Rey as well lol.
*sigh* JBL gets COUNTED OUT.
Superkick to Morrison and this is over. How… pointless this whole thing was.
CAL SCALE – 0
Michelle McCool, Maryse, Victoria, Natalya & Maria Vs Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle & Mickie James – Traditional Survivor Series Elimation Match
CAL SCALE – -1
The Undertaker Vs The Big Show – Casket Match
Oh, wait, no. No here. This is a BIG SHOW BLIP in their epic series of matches .
The casket gets a longer entrance than most guys in the opening elimination tag got in the ring .
I’m also a bigger fan of the casket than most of the guys in the opening elimination tag .
Big Show, like all giants (apparently…), is terrified of the casket. LOL.
MATCH STARTS WITH PUNCHES . Well at least I’ll get SOME enjoyment out of this .
LED DROP TO BIG SHOW THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~!
UNDERTAKER IS IN THE CASKET~! But Big Show is too scared of the casket to close it himself at first, so Undertaker is able to block the closing of the casket.
Less casket more FACE PUNCHING please.
SECOND ROPE CHOKESLAM TO BIG SHOW~!
NORMAL CHOKESLAM TO UNDERTAKER~!
BIG SHOW BREAKS THE CASKET~!
He’s had enough of this shit and decides to fuck off. Don’t blame him. This stipulation does not suit Taker Vs Big Show.
Undertaker on the other hand, he sits up and wants to continue fucking up Big Show.
WALL OF FIRE~!
Druids bring out another casket.
Big Show stands it up.
Undertaker Irish Whips Big Show into the casket which falls over and the lid shuts and this is over .
Urgh. What a bad match with a dumb finish lol.
CAL SCALE – 0
The colon people are hitting on the Bella Twins backstage and then… the things get weird as other people randomly show up and get a PPV pay off lol.
Oh hey Team Orton. He has Regal and Henry. No way he can lose. Except Shelton and Cody are also on the team. Cody and Orton are having problems.
Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Shelton Benjamin & Cody Rhodes Vs Batista, R-Truth, CM Punk, Matt Hardy & Kofi Kingston – Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match
If only this was a 2 on 2 tag with Henry & Regal Vs Punk & Hardy. Ah well, I’m still hoping for some fun here. Also kinda expecting to be disappointed. Which is what being a WWE fan has done to me. I am able to both look forward to and dread something at the SAME TIME .
Oh FUCK YOU WWE. Regal is eliminated within SECONDS.
See? I look forward to some Regal Vs Punk stuff in this match, and I get it. For like 10 seconds.
we did get Layla throwing her shoe at Punk’s face after the pin though .
HERE COMES THE UHHH… CODY RHODES~!
SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT MATT STRIKER UP. 70% of his commentary is him trying to give wrestlers some new tag lines and nicknames.
Cody says he’s everything his father isn’t. Well he’s certainly not over, so yeah, I agree.
half of Truth’s offense seems to be him jumping in the air and spinning. Oh yeah he’s just been eliminated too and NOBODY CARES . Seriously. The fans didn’t react, the commentators didn’t react, and I sure as fuck didn’t react.
I think Kofi just got eliminated too. I was busy not caring when it happened apparently .
Punk has also been eliminated.
HARDY VS HENRY TIME . I hope they forget it’s a tag and just wrestle each other for 10 minutes.
Oh well. Hardy pinned. Leaves Batista on his own and he immediately comes in and Spears Henry to eliminate him. Dammit.
BATISTA BOMB~! Shelton goes next.
Cody and Orton are the last 2 guys for Batista to eliminate.
BATISTA BOMB TO CODY~! But Orton tagged himself in, sneaks up behind Batista and hits the RKO to win the match!!!
This was a pile of shite. Who the fuck books the eliminations in these matches? Because they need firing.
CAL SCALE – 0
Video package for Jeff Hardy… WHO WON’T BE COMPETING TONIGHT .
Triple H Vs Vladimir Kozlov – WWE Championship Match
Jeff was supposed to be in this match to make it a triple threat but he died in a stairwell or something and couldn’t make it. WWE really blurred the lines of reality and kayfabe because with all of Hardy’s drug issues in real life, people legitimately thought he’d OD’d in a stairwell and wouldn’t be able to compete tonight lol. Of course it was all FAKE~!
Just what a HHH/Kozlov match needs; rest holds within the first 20 seconds!!!
TNA chants .
Oh god I still have Jericho/Cena to go after this. And I fucking hate Jericho/Cena too. My god this entire PPV is awful .
Edge shows up to make it a triple threat match again. Everyone thinks Jeff Hardy has finally made it but nope, it’s Edge. With a beard. Beardge?
Fans are loving it because an arena of black guys would cheer Hogan coming out if it meant an end to the boredom of HHH Vs Kozlov.
Oh hey Jeff IS here too. Chair to HHH. Chair to Kozlov. Spear from Edge. Edge pins HHH. New champ.
Match was awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit. And awful. And terrible. And shit.
CAL SCALE – 0
Chris Jericho Vs John Cena – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Cena breaks his neck and his return match is on PPV for the title. Because stuff.
Alrighty, this one STARTS off good. Jericho works the neck and Cena gives us a nice callback to his SS match when he goes to climb the ropes for that legdrop, but thinks better off it since the last time he did it he broke his neck.
CENA SENT INTO THE RING POST~!
CENA SENT INTO THE RING STEPS~!
JERICHO TRYING TO RIP CENA’S HEAD OFF~!
CENA NO SELLING EVERYTHING SO HE CAN HIT HIS 5 MOVE OF DOOM~!
JERICHO GOING BACK TO THE LIONTAMER VERSION OF THE WALLS OF JERICHO FOR ADDED PRESSURE ON CENA’S NECK~!
TOP ROPE LEG DROP BECAUSE FUCK IT MY NECK ALREADY BROKE DOING IT WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN THIS TIME~!
MORE NO SELLING OF THE NECK~!
FINALLY MADE IT THROUGH THIS PILE OF SHIT~!
CAL SCALE – 0
Overall CAL SCALE – -1