No Mercy 2007 PPV Ramblings


No Mercy 2007

 

Couldn’t decide which 07 show to watch next, so I muddled the DVD’s up, put them under a cover and picked this one out at random. 3 HHH matches in one night. 2 against Orton. Yeeeeeeey…

 

Woo, kicking off a PAY-PER-VIEW show with… talking! At least GENERAL MANAGER REGAL is there too. Looking all BOSS and shit.

 

Orton is announced by Vince as the NEW WWE Champion. Did that actually count as a title reign for him? Just curious lol.

 

Yey Regal gets some mic time! Tells Orton he gets to decide who he will defend the title against first. Fans want Y2J. They’ll have to wait a little longer for him, but not too long :p. Anyway, I guess this is an official reign for Orton then? Crazy.

 

Blah blah blah Orton is the best blah blah blah HHH interrupts blah blah blah we got a title match.

 

Randy Orton Vs Triple H – WWE Championship Match

Well, I guess if we couldn’t get Cena/Orton, WWE had to make it up to use by giving us TWO HHH/Orton matches to replace it :p. This is match #1, which I remember nothing about. At least I remember thinking their Last Man Standing match later in the night is great. As long as this doesn’t wanna make me smash my head against a wall I’ll call it a win.

Early going of this is really good, actually. They work a nice pace that isn’t too fast that it would be a random move-fest, but sure as hell isn’t a slow, dull, Orton pace. Awesome bump from the high knee by Orton too lol.

Even when Orton tries to bore, I mean, slow things down with a headlock, it doesn’t last long and even then, this is still during a time when Orton knew how to WORK a headlock spot, so it’s all good :).

SPINEBUSTER BY HHH, AND HE DIDN’T TEAR HIS QUAD~! That’s success for ya!

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HOLY SHIT HHH WINS THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP WITH A SCHOOL BOY PIN~!

Well, I’m pleased :). Unlike 90% of their matches, this was GOOD! A great opener for the PPV, and a match I’d happily sit through again. A HHH/ORTON MATCH I’D HAPPILY SIT THROUGH AGAIN. Doesn’t happen often!

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Brian Kendrick, Paul London & Jeff Hardy Vs Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch & Mr Kennedy

So Mr Kennedy injures the golden goose a week prior to this and is rewarded with… a PPV match! LOL.

This is a “bonus” match, and boy does it feel completely meaningless too lol. It’s just a standard tag team for no real reason whatsoever. It isn’t bad or anything, in fact I rather enjoyed it (mainly thanks to Cade & Murdoch/Londrick stuff). It’s just… this should have been a Raw match. In fact it basically was, only with Shelton instead of Kennedy, just the week before.

:lmao Hardy does that running dive off the apron and… Cade apparently doesn’t know it’s coming so he isn’t in position. Jeff just crashed to the mat :p. Not in a horrible way where he hurt himself, just a funny way :p.

MRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KENNEDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY picks the win up for his team with that… top rope move he used to do. Uhhhh… dammit I can’t remember the name of it :lmao. Finlay used to do it too, only without the need for the ropes because he’s BOSS AS FUCK.

So yeah, good, enjoyable tag, but had no purpose.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

 

D’awww, HHH and Batista have a moment backstage with both of them as champions. Then Vince shows up and informs HHH that the original match between him and Umaga is still happening tonight, only know with the title on the line!

 

Big Daddy V Vs CM Punk – ECW Championship Match

Is this that super short match that ends in DQ? Probably is.

Yup. It is. Striker runs into the ring and attacks Punk in less than 2 minutes.

And that’s terrible because they had an awesome sub-2 minute match up until that point :(. This was probably cut short due to the changes made to the show with Cena being injured. WE GOT THAT MEANINGLESS 6 MAN TAG INSTEAD OF A LENGTHY ECW CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH? FUCK YOU.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Tazz like flat greasy wet pie.

 

MELINA~! FAP~!

 

MARIA~! FAP~!

 

They are here to keep score as Matt and MVP have another one of their competitions.

 

We are getting a Pizza eating contest. On PPV. When the ECW Championship match just before this got under 2 minutes.

 

Triple H Vs Umaga – WWE Championship Match

The referee is called Marty ELIAS. ELIAS. :mark:.

I might be a little obsessed with Person of Interest :p.

OH SWEET JEBUS UMAGA JUST MURDERED HHH. Superkick right to the fucking FACE :mark:.

Are any of those Undertaker/Umaga matches from house shows available online? Not some big dream match or anything in my opinion but definitely something I’d like to see. Shame they never had a program on TV or anything.

How do people rate Umaga btw? I liked him most of the time, but never thought he would be the next big thing or anything. Don’t think he was made for the main event scene, not in the long run, anyway.

Oh yeah, the match. HHH does some stuff, Umaga cuts him off and works him over a little, nothing exciting there. Then HHH wins. Meh. 3 HHH matches in one night, 2 against Orton, and the Umaga match is probably gonna be the worst of the bunch :p. THAT’S INSANE~!

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Backstage, Khali is meditating while his handler dude speaks for him. I was surprised that Khali was able to sit crossed legged and then stand up with ease :p.

 

Finlay Vs Rey Mysterio

Oh fuck YES :mark:. I have no memory of their PPV matches, just their TV matches (one in 06 and one in 07). And those were spectacular.

This is off to a tremendous start, just what I wanted to see :mark:. Finlay mauling Rey with his great offence, and Rey using his speed, quickness and unique offense to gain momentum for himself. I could watch these two go back and forth all day.

:mark: Mysterio tries to go for it all early on, with a sunset flip powerbomb attempt on the floor from the apron, but Finlay uses the apron cover like nobody else can to counter the former WHC and it’s all downhill from here for poor Rey!

This is just fantastic stuff. Rey’s little comebacks are great, Finlay is great at cutting him off, and the turnbuckle spot to distract the ref was awesome.

The finish see’s Finlay get knocked off the apron and SPLAT to the floor, and he pretends to be knocked out. He gets put on a stretcher and… jumps up and attacks Rey :lmao. What a cunty heel he is :mark:.

Not on the level of their 2 epic TV matches, but for a match with the ending it had, which was essentially to build to another match, it was damn good!

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Vince and HHH backstage segment again. We get the Last Man Standing match announcement :mark:.

 

Beth Phoenix Vs Candice Michelle – WWE Women’s Championship Match

Hmmmm… no thanks!

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Batista Vs The Great Khali – World Heavyweight Championship Punjabi Prison Match

People say this match is good. Yet they hate on the Undertaker/Big Show one. So not sure if I should believe them :side:.

This match is so horrible on paper, my DVD is spinning like hell to keep it playing otherwise it’ll start skipping lol.

Aaaand it’s dead. BRB, gonna give the disc a clean. Would be a shame if I couldn’t watch this match :side:.

Dammit, it works again. FINE, I’LL WATCH THE DAMN MATCH.

So uhhh… some time has passed. The guys in the ring did some stuff. And now all the doors have been opened and closed, so they have to climb out of the first structure now rather than escaping through a door. Whatever.

Batista wins.

People think this is good? But hate on Undertaker/Big Show? GTFO.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Triple H Vs Randy Orton – WWE Championship Last Man Standing Match

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH SHOT TO THE RIBS~! Orton is in control!

HHH takes a sweet back bump in the steel rampway. Orton is brutal in his assault on HHH, as he knows the Game is hurting and dammit he wants his title back!

MONITOR RIGHT TO HHH’S HAND~! BARELY~! I think it was supposed to be a head shit, with HHH protecting himself which is of course smart… but Orton almost missed HHH’s hands :lmao.

ORTON THROUGH A TABLE~! If Orton connected properly with that monitor shot he wouldn’t be in this predicament :side:.

Well a Spinebuster on the floor wasn’t enough to keep Orton down so the next logical step is… STEEL STEPS~!

Why is it so hard for the fans to keep in sync with the referee’s count? They are always like 1 ahead of him. IT’S NOT FUCKING HARD.

HHH seems to be running on empty, and it catches up to him quickly with Orton gaining real control of the match and HHH is pretty much DEAD. DDT on a steel chair and then an RKO on the chair looks to solidify the win for the Viper, but hold fuck HHH is up at 9!!!

Similar to the WM HIAC with Undertaker, HHH is dead and knows it, but he wants to go out FIGHTING like a true warrior, and gives Orton the old DX Crotch Chop in defiance before collapsing to the floor again.

Honestly I think that would have been a good place to end the match but nope, Orton goes for a Punt, HHH blocks it and has some energy again because I DON’T KNOW. :p

Lol, had to groan in disgust as HHH so obviously sets up to take a bump into the ring post by basically moving Orton to the corner and attempting a Pedigree :p.

CHAIR SHOT TO ORTON’S HEAD WHILE IT’S ON THE STEEL STEPS~! Isn’t that what finished off Khali in his LMS match with Undertaker?

RKO ONTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! Kayfabe, that’s what took out Cena the previous week, so I like that it was used as the finish.

Overall, a great match and the best LMS match of 2007, however I don’t think it’s as good as I remembered. Only gone down a little, mind you, but still.

Impressive though that HHH and Orton could have 2 of their best matches together in the same night. Shame they also have about 20 god awful matches together :p.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 10.5

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